can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
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