I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
Randomize
