My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
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