Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
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