Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
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