You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
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