Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
Randomize
