you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
Randomize
