how can u be prego again
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
