I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize
