yo i have your phone
... oh so you probably won't get this message
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
