dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
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