I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
Randomize
