That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
Randomize
