I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
Randomize
