what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
Randomize
