how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Randomize
