And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
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