sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
Randomize
