careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
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