Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
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