I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
A+ Viking dick
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
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