there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
Randomize
