This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
So I decided to start saving money for my abortion in a tomato sauce jar because it says ‘Prego.’ I know I thought it was fucking genius!
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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