It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
as a side note pls kill me
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
Randomize
