just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
Randomize