If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
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