Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
Thanks for FaceTime'ing with that ugly chick last night while me and her friend were in the other room. it's good to know I can still count on my wingman even when we're 2000 miles apart
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
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