I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
Randomize
