Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
