I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
Randomize
