so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
Randomize
