new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
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