It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
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