Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
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