I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
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