This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
Randomize
