I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
Randomize
