I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
Randomize
