how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Randomize
