You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
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