yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
Randomize
