tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
