it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
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