I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
Randomize
