i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
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