life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
Randomize
