You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
Randomize
