Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
