somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
Randomize
