Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
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