So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
Randomize
