You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
Randomize
