I hate your face
I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
Randomize
