I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
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