you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
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