I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
Randomize
