her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
The chlamydia really affected his face.
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
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