it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
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