Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
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