I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
Randomize
